


The Basilisk and the Chamber of Secrets

by Akaisha_Loire



Series: (My) Immortal: Web Series [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: (My) Immortal: Webseries, Gen, Ron's Day, Sex Talk, Zombie!Loopin, Zombie!Snap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:37:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akaisha_Loire/pseuds/Akaisha_Loire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snap and Loopin give Tom a very important talk before Ron’s Day, about a Basilisk and a Chamber of Secrets. A (My) Immortal: Web series fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Basilisk and the Chamber of Secrets

Title: The Basilisk and The Chamber of Secrets  
Rating: T  
Warnings: slight sexual innuendo?  
Summary: Snap and Loopin give Tom a very important talk before Ron’s Day, about a Basilisk and a Chamber of Secrets.

Standard Disclaimer applies. I do not own Harry Potter, My Immortal or the (My) Immortal the webseries.

The Basilisk and The Chamber of Secrets

Tom sighed in annoyance as two hands grabbed his shoulders, forcing him into a chair. Snap and Loopin slid in front of him, arms crossed, eyes as serious as they could get for two banes of existence. “Where you think you’re going?” Snap questioned.

“Potter is over at Weasley’s, if you must know.”

Snap looked at Loopin and Loopin looked back before the two nodded in silent agreement, both surging forward, taking seats on either side of Tom. “Tom, I think it’s time we have a very important talk,” Loopin began. Snap nodded, pulling a scroll out of his coat, shaking it out.

“Stop it,” Tom warned, glaring.

“You see, Tom, when one goth wants to impress another goth they pull out their giant basilisk,” Snap informed him. “And insert it into the chamber of secrets.”

Tom sat up a bit straighter, eyes narrowing. “I will kill you both.”

“Already there, dude, we’re zombies! See the green face,” Loopin laughed. “Anyways, its best that you find a nice sized chamber in the girl’s restroom, but not too big, just enough for your basilisk to fit in.”  
“It helps if you hiss at it a bit, get it nice and open. Goths appreciate a parselmouth,” Snap continued, turning the pages on his drawn manual. “After you get it to open just let your basilisk just slither on in there nice and slow,” he informed him, making a motion with his hands.

“Wait, what was this?” Loopin interjected, making the same wiggling motion with his hand. “That’s not how you should enter the chamber of secrets.”  
“Why must you always do this? I’m telling him the basics here.”

“I’m just saying, it’s more of a straight shot into the chamber,” Loopin argued, making a straight forward motion with his hands. “I mean, I guess if you want to make a little circle motion first—“

“As long as you’re not kidnapping the girl before hand, if you know what I mean,” Snap cut in, jabbing an incredibly annoyed Tom in the side.

“Whatever happened to that Weasley girl anyway?”

Snap looked up for a moment before looking back at Loopin. “You know, I don’t know, turned goth, Satanist vampire, probably. Moved to Translyvania or something probably.”

“Hm, she was hot.”

“Yeah, in the way an ice cube is.”

“Why do you always have to do that, Snap? I say a girl is hot and automatically you’re telling me she’s not. You just can’t agree with me on anything can you?”

“I’m just saying, based on comparative hotness she’s got little to nothing on Cho Chang, if preps are your thing. I mean, if I was 16 and alive, I’d be all over that.”

“Yeah, if you weren’t too busy being all over Lucius Malfoy. Who, let me REMIND you, you said you hated.”

Snap threw up his hands. “ONE TIME!! One mistake and I’m paying it for the rest of eternity. You just HAVE to keep bringing that up, don’t you? You just LOVE to bring it up.”

“You’re the one that—“

“QUIET!!” Tom shouted, standing up. “You two idiots, take your diagrams, and your paper snakes and go do what I told you too yesterday,” he ordered, crumbling the diagram, throwing it at the Snape clone.

“No need to take it out on the diagram.”

“Just trying to be helpful, Tom, we know your dad wasn’t there for you.”

“You’re both idiots, remind me to RE-kill you later,” he glared, fixing his jacket. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a Potter to woo.”

With that Tom swept out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

“Well, that went pretty well,” Loopin smiled, crossing his arms behind his head.

“Not bad at all, oh, look, Tom forgot his party hat. We should take that to him.”

“That is a great idea, Snap. A great idea!”

-end-


End file.
